Recombination Lines is a series of personal updates, reflections, and memoirs about the experience of coming to terms with being transgendered. The name comes from the concept of recombination, where light is emitted by an ionized atom as it returns to its natural ground state. I think embracing my identity has had a similar effect. Operating in my societally-expected male identity requires a series of energy absorbing behaviors and interactions. In realizing and discarding those expectations, I can feel myself returning to my natural ground state. As I grow more comfortable with myself and who I am, I'm becoming a more radiant person.
As a general content warning for this blog, I will talk about dysphoria, mental health, and queerphobia. I will try to tag more specific content in each post, but because the trans experience can be so wildly variable from person to person, things which may seem "normal" to me may be triggering to someone else.
The Lyman Series is a group of Hydrogen emission lines created by the fall of electrons from outer orbital shells to the n=1 orbital shell. These lines are associated with ionization bookending the Universe's "Dark Age", and are used by astronomers studying the earliest eras of the visible universe. In this series of essays I will explore the earliest eras of my own identity.